Wednesday, September 22nd, 2010

It is my pleasure to introduce the wit and wisdom of Deborah Kimmett. A fellow author and speaker, Deborah is my guest blogger for today’s post. To learn more about Deborah and read her blog, visit her website.

Enjoy the laughs…

Hi, I am Deborah Kimmett, a humorist who believes life starts getting better after we say Yes.  Babies are born. Cars are invented, and new ideas start to come. However, first we protest, then we make jokes.

Last January I cancelled my satellite television.. I had convinced myself I would read novels by authors like James Joyce. It’s been 365 days and I’m still on page one of Ulysses, but I have cut my sleeping medication in half.

No,  I have just traded one screen for another.  I stare lovingly at my computer screen waiting for pop-ups. I worship it. I have become a checker. I check endlessly.

This is how my day goes. I get up and I go to the coffee shop for a cup of anxiety. I check my LinkedIn, eBay account, Zoomers and Craigslist, and then read the news online. The news is so bad, I read it again on another site just to make sure it’s that horrible.

Then I notice a lump on my index finger so I Google my imagined illness du jour. I either have a malignant tumour or gnarly knuckles. We have enough information to be dangerous. I can’t trust my doctor or my financial advisor. I go online to look at the state of my mutual funds, to see how many points I have on my fifteen rewards cards.

I have so many passwords. I fear I will lose my mind and be sitting in a nursing home saying “rascalsbum343.” If you want to check your income tax online, Revenue Canada now makes you create your own security questions. This means I don’t know the answer or the question. And don’t you love it when the customer service people start giving you hints?  “Your first dog’s name mixed with Grade 1 teacher’s name?”

I check my email and look at the many jokes forwarded by retirees who’ve just discovered how to use a computer; the virus warnings or the modern day chain letter offering me the blessing of 10 thousand cherubs as long as I forward it to 10 people within half an hour. If I don’t, I will burn in hell. Here I am. I live on an island and I’m sinking in spam.

What I need is human contact — a little Facebook to Facebook. I have 499 friends; 349 of them are Kimmetts who are talking about how much they’ve been drinking. At least they won’t blow over the legal limit driving on the information highway.

But I am so old, I remember when the phone rang and I used to pick it up. Now I stare at it and say, “Ah great. Why is he calling me at this time of night?” and I let it go to voicemail. Then when he doesn’t leave a message, I think what’s his game? There is only one thing worse: when you call your phone and that woman says, “You have no new messages.” Read: you have no messages, loser.

If I don’t text, do I exist? If a tweet falls in the forest, does it make a sound? I have been reduced to short form replying; I spell when I could speak. I type TTYL to my BFF but I refuse to write LOL. For someone with gnarly finger syndrome, I have the fastest fingers in the west.

So, I’ve gone back to watching TV.  No. I won’t sign up for satellite. I will now stream everything I really like. It’s like that old saying, “The Geek shall inherit the earth, or at least the World Wide Web.”

- Deborah Kimmett

What Limited Thinking Is Limiting You?

Wednesday, September 15th, 2010

Do you ever find yourself deciding what an experience is going to be like or what someone is going to say or do before the situation unfolds?

A few days ago, I was jogging here in Toronto and as I was approaching a gaggle of teenage boys who were walking ahead of me, I braced myself for the comments – you know, the teenage boys- seeing-a-female-jogger-going-by-them-in-rather-form-fitting-clothing kind of comments. As I made my way past the group of young dudes, I heard one of them yell out at the top of his lungs, “I believe in you!” I smiled and raised up both of arms ala marathoner crossing the finish line which then caused an eruption of cheers from all of them. That was that. I jogged on leaving them behind and that was that. A positive experience from jogging past a group of teenage boys when that situation could have gone several different ways.

Wonders never cease, do they?

We seem to forget that wonders do never cease, though. I sure did as I was preparing myself for some sarcastic or derogatory remarks to come out of those boys mouths. I decided or predicted a negative experience before it happened.

Anytime we unleash what I like to call our “inner fortune teller” and make a prediction of how things are gonna go down in the future, that is a classic case of limited thinking.

And it’s everywhere. Observe your thoughts. How often do you decide what’s going to happen or how it’s going to be like before you actually experience it? How often do you tell yourself and other people stories that simply aren’t true because they haven’t happened yet? Listen to your colleagues, listen to your friends, lovers, neighbours, and whomever else you’re hanging around – we so often are a bunch of clairvoyants walking around predicting the future which prepares us for ONE outcome rather than the countless options available – and by the way, some of those other options kick that one predicted outcome’s ass.

During this year, my partner and I traveled to Europe and bought a loft all in a span of a few months. A comment that I’ve heard (and admittedly has been created in my mind a few times) is “well, now that we’re home-owners, we won’t be traveling again for awhile.” Deciding that because we now have a mortgage and condo fees to pay each month, the biggest trip we’re going to take over the next few years is a cross-boarder shopping trip to Buffalo is a classic case of limited thinking. It’s a decision (or future prediction) that we won’t have enough money to be able to visit places slightly more exotic than New York state. Now, that MAY be the case, but hey, it MAY NOT be the case.

Because we don’t know, everything is possible.

Because you don’t know what’s gonna go down with the events, situations, and people in your personal and professional life, everything is possible.

Challenge the stories you have created about the people you work with, hang out with and live with. Challenge the stories you are creating about how things are going to be. Is it true or is it limited thinking?

Approach each situation and each person without the story, but rather an open mind to all the possibilities. That colleague who hasn’t come up with a half-decent idea since Clinton was president, just might rock your world with a solution in the meeting tomorrow. That friend who is typically self-absorbed just might make it all about you tonight at dinner. One of those teenage boys who you jog past might just say something incredibly positive like, “I believe in you!”

Wonders never cease, do they? So maybe your limited thinking could.

Big Love,


Shining Light On The Darkness – Part 2: Live In The Mystery

Wednesday, September 8th, 2010

This is the second installment in my series of posts offering thoughts that can change your experience when trying to find your way out of the darkness…

In part 1, I talked about creating more peace during the ebbs by being aware of the fact that life isn’t a continual FLOW and using that awareness to welcome the ebbs into our life as we are here to evolve through experiences – all kinds of experiences. After accepting that an ebb has come our way, we then have an opportunity to lessen the suffering by LETTING GO and ALLOWING the ebb to unfold rather than predicting the outcome or making the outcome happen…FAST. When you’re in the darkness, do you tend to unleash your inner fortune teller? Do you know exactly how this is all gonna go down? Do you know exactly what that other person is thinking? Do you know exactly what you and that other person need to do? Oh, let me count the ways and many times I have looked into my crystal ball and told myself all kinds of stories just so I felt like I has some information…even if it was completely made up.

I don’t know about you, but trying to be in charge of my ebb has never actually worked for me – it has never brought me the peace and resolution I have been so desperately reaching for. If this reaction to the darkness sounds all too familiar to you – if you have been there and purchased one or two souvenir t-shirts, then consider the opposite reaction and that is to simply LIVE IN THE MYSTERY. Our ego shudders at the very thought of letting go and allowing life to unfold, but our soul is absolutely tickled neon pink when we demonstrate our faith that what will happen in this ebb is perfect – not “picture perfect” but perfect for our evolution.

Look back at some of the other ebbs in your life and see how they served you…how they brought about miracles that you could not have created all on your own…how they have brought you to where you are right now as you read this. Use that evidence or what I like to call “past data” to help you put away the crystal ball and feel peaceful as you patiently wait for the mysterious perfect ending reveal itself.

May you remember what you truly know.

Living in the mystery when we’re in the darkness is like falling back into someone’s arms…an exercise in TRUST…an exercise in FAITH. When we get out our crystal ball, try to figure it all out, try to make it all better, we are also forgetting that there is a loving energy who has our back…who knows better than we do about what needs to happen…who mysteriously has the perfect ending in mind.

Big Love,