My Truth And What I Know For Sure (So Far…)

Wednesday, March 13th, 2013

Back when I used to subscribe to Oprah’s magazine, “O”, (hey, did you see who’s on the cover of it this month?!!!), I used to love reading the last article written by the queen herself. It was a short essay about something that she knows for sure. A glimpse into her truth. A snippet of the real Oprah.

You have your truth. You have beliefs that you would stand by if push were to really come to shove. You have aspects of yourself that have been there since day one and God bless you, there you are thirty, forty, fifty, sixty years later doing the same damn thing.

To realize it. To accept it. To own it. To express it freely and fearlessly is why you are here.

Screw the “shoulds”. Let go of what you think the world expects of you. And laugh at all the lies on Facebook. Yours included, darling.

If you do one thing in this life, choose to be yourself. Accept yourself for exactly who you are. Talk to yourself like you would to a best friend. Hell, even a lover.

So. Inspired by a conversation with my assistant when self-actualization was knocking hard on my door on a very dark day…here’s what I know for sure.

So far…

- I am a spiritual being having a human experience (not the other way around)

- every encounter is sacred

- other than what’s in the real law books, everything else in life truly is optional

- we suffer when we believe a thought that isn’t true for ourselves

- our true nature is joy

- things come together and they fall apart…it is the flux of life

- you can’t save anyone in this life, but if you save yourself, you will in turn, save the world

- to do something that brings you joy and leads you to shine a bright light in this world is success…but the opposite is not failure

- delivering a service and being of service are two very different things

- it’s very important to challenge everything you think, say, and want to buy

- emotional and physical pain is inevitable in life, however, suffering is quite optional

- stress cannot exist where there is gratitude

- abundance is not something we acquire in this life, it’s something we tune into

- it’s impossible to suffer if your attention is placed on the present moment

- my life is not about me at all…it’s about helping others in all the different ways that exist

- vulnerability (not saving face) can and will save the world

And here’s My Truth…

- my highs are high and my lows are low

- I LOVE a good party

- I can’t stand small talk (I’d rather dive in to the big, big stuff with a stranger than talk about their last vacation)

- I hold an extraordinary fantasy world in my mind

- I wear my heart on my sleeve

- I have no idea what complacency feels like

- I’m the most comfortable in this world when I’m busy

- I’m a pleaser from way back

- being a performer, turning a deaf ear to my ego-mind is my biggest life lesson

- writing, being on stage, and making people laugh is why I’m here…it is what my soul chose as the way to be a physical expression of love…it’s my TRUTH.

I probably didn’t capture everything here today, but it’s a start and starting to face the truth is one more step in getting closer to being who you really are.

What can you say for sure? What is your truth? And are you freely and fearlessly expressing it each day in all that you do?

Even on Facebook?

Big love,

susan

 

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What It Means To Be The REAL YOU (My Latest A-HA Moment…)

Wednesday, March 28th, 2012

For years now my mother has talked about me getting to a place where I am the real SUSAN.  And for years, I have never had a clear understanding of what the hell she’s been talking about. Did I ask for clarification? Nah…just nodded and smiled…as you do. Maybe I didn’t care enough about it or maybe for some other reason, but apparently, the timing wasn’t right for me to get it.

One recent Sunday morning I listened to a recorded talk by one of my favourite authors, Neale Donald Walsch. Throughout his messages about ending the struggle and making your life work, Neale got talking about the very subject of being who we really are. And…

A-HA! I get it now! (Sorry, mom…Lord knows you tried…)

I now understand what being the real you is all about…what it means…what it looks like as a habit…as a daily experience.

Being the real you means that no matter what is going on around you, you are remembering and exuding your TRUE NATURE. You know, that light-filled spirit you embodied when you entered this world. Your true nature…the real you is that bundle of love who didn’t judge, who didn’t expect things, and who didn’t stress about a damn thing. That’s who I really am and that’s who you really are! We are not our thoughts. We are not our worries. We are not our stories about the past and the future. We are not what we do, what we have, or what we have accomplished. All of that mind-chatter and ego thinking is just stuff that leads us away from “home”.

This is your true nature.

Anytime you don’t look and act like this photo of my baby nephew, Lucas, the “dream”…the illusions of this made-up world and the expectations and stressful thoughts that it triggers, has led you astray from who you really are.

One of the typical symptoms of chronic stress shared by participants in my workshops is “being a bitch” to other people. That’s it exactly! Who observes a baby doing anything and thinks, “What a bitch!”

Think of all the dramatic stories, limiting beliefs, and stressful thoughts in your mind as the many layers that cover up your true peaceful, playful, excitable nature. Deciding to remember and exude that true nature of yours is a powerful act of awareness. Being who you really are is a conscious decision to peel away those layers…it’s waking up and heading “home”.

So, no matter what the drama, disappointment, or stressful situation, can you remember who you really are? Can you look like your baby photo more often rather than say, a passport photo? Can you approach each moment with that same wide open heart and stillness in your mind that you had so long ago?

Sounds challenging? You bet it is. It might be one heck of a rise in awareness for the first little while, (it has been for me!), but hold steady and strong, my fellow spiritual warrior. If we stay at it long enough we just might make it “home”…being who we really are just might become “second nature.”

Big Love,

susan

 

Posted in Challenging The Old Ways, My Journey, Peaceful Living & Thinking, Seeing The Lighter Side Of LIfe, Spiritual Solutions to Earthly Dramas, Uncategorized | No Comments »

Stuff That Can Soothe A Wounded Heart & Quiet An Oh-So Busy Mind

Tuesday, September 6th, 2011

I recently spoke to a group of school board custodial/maintenance staff and at the end of one of my workshops, a participant came up to me and asked me for some advice. He wanted to know what he could do to raise his spirits during his newly separation from his wife. The dramatic change in this man’s life was extremely fresh and I could tell he was hanging on by a thread.

This man’s situation struck close to home as I am in the midst of the heart-healing process as well. I was supposed to write a book this summer, but spent most of the time doing things to move through it and feel better. I was more than happy to share with him the things that helped me put one foot in front of the other on days when the bed looked like the best place to hang out for the entire day.

I want to share that very list with you just in case love or life ever gets you down…

1. PLAY – involve yourself with the things that you WANT to do and LOVE to do! These are the activities that make your spirit sing, lift your mood instantly, and remind you that LIFE IS GOOD. When devastated or just generally fretting, move heaven and earth to do the stuff that you would still do if nobody was looking. Play and play often, damn it. I played countless hours of golf this summer because it was a glorious break from my sorrow and constant stream of “mind-chatter”. It’s simply impossible to attempt hitting a golf ball and wallow in pain all at the same time.

2. SOCIALIZE – even though getting out and seeing friends and family can intially have the same appeal as eating a dirt sandwich or repeatedly sticking a fork in your eye, it pays off in the end. I’m famous for withdrawing when I get blue (if my mother doesn’t hear from me for a week or so she gets very nervous) so I say from experience that isolation just makes you “heady” – it leads you to creating a vast amount of time and space to listen to and believe all the crap in your head. Stay connected so you feel supported and well, connected to other human beings, but also do it so other people can hear some of the crap you’re thinking and believing and offer you other perspectives.

3. READ BOOKS WRITTEN BY HEALING VOICES – you may be cringing at the thought of reading a “self-help” book so let’s call it something else…a healing voice that can offer you new ways of viewing and thinking about things. I have listened to many “healing voices” in my lifetime, but ones that are particularly powerful when the #$%@ hits the fan is: Byron Katie (“Loving What Is“), Neale Donald Walsch (“When Everything Changes, Change Everything”), and Elizabeth Lesser (“Broken Open“).

4. NOTICE THAT NOT EVERYTHING SUCKS – Bryon Katie posted on her Facebook page that “gratitude is what we are without a story”. I have found that one of the easiest and quickest ways to perk up or peel myself off the ceiling is to take stock of all the things that I do have and all the things that are going well. The “mind-chatter” we tend to listen to and believe (what Bryon Katie calls “stories”) can lead us to thinking that there’s not enough and that everything is going to hell in a hand basket…the biggest story of them all.

5. HELP SOMEONE – Generosity of any kind is wonderful during challenging times because much like play, it nicely gives you a break from your drama. It’s also been proven that when we help someone in some way, our body releases good feeling chemicals into our bloodstream that are normally very expensive and highly illegal. There’s a “giver’s high” that we experience through being generous of time, resources, or spirit so why not seek out some of that cheap and cheerful stuff when you need a boost big time.

6. REMEMBER YOUR “PAST DATA” – I would bet anything that you have at least one “negative” event or situation which took place in your past that ended up to be some kind of a gift later on. That event or situation is a piece of “past data” that proves that things don’t happen to us, but rather, things happen for us. Think back to that time when your heart was smashed into a zillion pieces and now think about all the reasons why you’re so happy and relieved that you didn’t end up spending the rest of your living days with that person! There’s your “past data”, baby. That happened for you and so is this current situation…you just don’t know the details surrounding the gift yet. I actually would bet anything that you have several pieces of “past data” that you can access to help you stand in the eye of the storm and be curious about how this current “negative” event or situation will end up serving you in some way. I much prefer curiosity over a panic attack.

7. SWEAT – Picture Debbie Allen at the beginning of Fame with that big wooden pole in her hand saying, “You want fame? Well, fame costs and this is where you start paying…and sweat!” Okay, so this isn’t about being famous, this is about feeling better, but I still think that woman would look at you and tell you to sweat because it triggers the relaxation response and rids the body of all those harmful hormones that can build up in your body due the aforementioned crap rolling around in your mind.

8. GIVE IT TIME & GO EASY ON YOURSELF  - I ended off with the 2 G’s. Time does have this miraculous way of taking you from thinking about it almost 100% of the time to one day going fuzzy on the details. Be gentle with yourself – if you’ve made some mistakes that has lead to having a wounded heart or an oh-so busy mind, see this is an opportunity to cultivate self-kindness. Each and every one of us is bumbling around here on earth being great and screwing up on a daily basis. Compassion for all – which means you too, by the way.

That’s the list I shared with that wounded heart that day. I hope it helps you right now or the next time love or life ever gets you down.

Big Love,

susan

Posted in blog, My Journey, Peaceful Living & Thinking, Seeing The Lighter Side Of LIfe, Uncategorized | 2 Comments »

Do You See The Magic Even When Things Don’t Seem So Magical?

Thursday, May 5th, 2011

Let me just say that I have seen better days. I am still blessed up my wah-zoo and but quite frankly, I have seen better days.

I’m getting through it, I’m learning, I’m growing, blah, blah, blah…however, personally, this is an extremely challenging time for me. Perhaps you too have experienced a time (or times) in your life when stuff like heart-ache, loss, and pain are constant feelings you carry around with you even when you’re grocery shopping or putting gas in your car.

When these gut-wrenching ebbs enter your life, do you see the magic around you?

As my gut wrenches away right now, I’ve been shown how the universe is still hard at work – I have managed to see the MAGIC.

The magic that I have noticed over the last few days isn’t huge stuff, but rather, small miracles that simply perk me up or make life a tiny bit easier.

The first bit of magic happened last week when I was in my car listening to a song by British sensation, Adele. I love love love this woman’s music! When the song was over, I mentioned to my friend who was in the car with me that I would really like to see Adele interviewed as I’m curious about who she is as a person.

The very next day, I was scrolling through the channels on the TV and low and behold, there was an MTV special with an hour-long interview with Adele scheduled to air later that evening.

I put the intention out there and the universe delivered…with some serious speed to boot. Pure Magic. Small stuff, but pure magic.

The second bit of magic relates to parking here in Toronto. If you live or have ever lived in Toronto, you know how truly magical parking is here. Part of my challenging time has involved me moving out of the home I own and into a rented condo – the “crashpad” as I like to call it – a bit bigger than a landing pad that I am crashing at rather than a friend’s sofa – hey, I’m well into into my 30′s now so it’s time to crash like a real grown-up. The condo building I live in has parking garages below and behind it where empty spots are at a premium. When I moved in a few weeks ago, there were no vacant spots available, so I put my name on the waiting list in hopes of getting “the call” one day.  In the meantime, I kept my car parked in the spot I still currently own a few kilometers away. This set-up worked well as I didn’t need my car very much anyway. As the merry month of May rolled in, I became a bit concerned about the long-distance relationship I had with my car as my needs to drive off to speaking engagements was about to increase dramatically. You probably know where this story is headed. Yep, I got the call two days ago – a spot became available for me.

Again with the magic. Perfect timing. Just when I really needed something, it appeared.

As I go through this challenging time in my life, taking notice of the magic around me lifts my spirits as it reminds me of two major things: the universe can easily give me what I want  - all I gotta do is ask for it and things are provided for me when the timing is right.

I find that noticing the small miracles reminds me that bigger miracles are in the works as well.

No matter what, the universe is always hard at work for us – all we have to do is take note of the small miracles like finding an Adele interview on MTV and snagging a parking spot in downtown Toronto to see proof of the hard work being done on our behalf.

When things don’t seem so magical, see the magic around you.

Big Love,

susan

 

Posted in blog, My Journey, Peaceful Living & Thinking, Spiritual Solutions to Earthly Dramas, Uncategorized | 2 Comments »

Seeing The Lighter Side of Life Doesn’t Necessarily Involve Having A Sense Of Humour

Wednesday, April 20th, 2011

I had coffee with a fellow stand-up comic-turned-inspirational speaker the other day and at one point in our conversation I said to her that lightening up about the inevitable changes and challenges that come our way has very little to do with having a sense of humour or being funny. She looked at me with a perplexed look on her face and asked me to explain what the heck I was talking about. I told her that my programs are centred around seeing changes and challenges from a higher perspective which I believe can help all of us see stressors in a different “light”. When we take several steps back to see the bigger picture…what’s really going on, we can’t help but lighten up about stuff that can so easily cause us suffering. Suffering occurs when we see our earthly dramas as being nothing more than what is going on right in front of us.

The higher perspective that I am referring to comes from believing I am a spiritual being having a human experience. By being mindful that my soul is down here on earth living out a life experience that it signed up for well before it arrived, allows light to shine in during even the darkest of times.

I’m an expert on the topic of lightening up, but it has nothing to do with the fact that I’ve been blessed with a sense of humour – razor sharp wit, some might say – not many, but some. No, I’m an expert on this topic because living and working with lightness has never come naturally to me. If I’m not on my game 24/7, I can easily walk around looking and sounding like I’m some kind of head of state. I’ve had to work my rear end off to even get to the point where I am at now which is to say that I mostly see things from a higher perspective – I usually live and work with lightness.

My passion for the topic of lightening up comes by me honestly. In my last blog post, I talked about how me and Mr. Depression go way back and that it wasn’t until I changed my perception and thoughts about challenges that my mental health improved. So, as a follow-up to my previous post about how changing our thoughts can truly change our experience here on earth, I offer 3 ways I view and think about stuff that can so easily lead Mr. Depression to come a knockin’….

1. All changes and challenges will end up contributing to my evolution in some way. Maybe i’ll learn a skill, make a connection, hear a message I need to hear, see something about myself I need to see. I stay curious by staying mindful of the fact that any time the $#%@ has hit the fan in my life, it’s ended up happening FOR me – it served some kind of purpose. With all that great “past data” of hardships being a some kind of a gift, why oh why would that magic not be hard at work right now???? I am a chess piece being placed in a certain spot at a certain time with some kind of great strategic thinking in mind.

2. I am here to evolve and grow through experience. If I’m a spiritual being having a human EXPERIENCE, the expectation that all my evolving and growing is only going to happen through pleasant experiences is a one-way ticket to stressville. Ebbs an flows, highs and lows, the good, the bad, and the ugly, baby. It’s all coming our way so you and I can get done whatever it is that we are here to do. Acceptance of the ebbs as part of the human experience is a one-way ticket on the peace train. As one of my favourite authors, Neale Donald Walsch, taught me in his wonderful book, When Everything Changes, Change Everything, the shift that is ours to make is from wondering IF change will happen to wondering WHEN change will happen. Amen, brother Neil, amen.

3. The truth is always lighter than the story. Next time you’re ranting on about the past or the future, take a moment to see how much of your rant is actually TRUE. When I’m not living mindfully of the fact that everything is perfect even when it isn’t, my negative perception of a challenge can easily create a story that would freak anyone out. When I left stand-up comedy and started working in a Human Resources branch in the Ontario government, I told myself a couple stories day after day. The first story that I told myself was that I was lost – even though the truth was that I found myself to work and home each and every day. The other story was that I didn’t belong there – even though the truth was that they let me in the door each and every day and do my things. I believed those stories even though the truth was that I merely left stand-up comedy and was beginning a new job in a Human Resources branch in the Ontario government – the truth was that I was beginning a new chapter in my life. This world does not contain anything but neutral events, situations, and people – anything beyond the facts are created by the lenses we see it through. Focusing more on the truth really just requires a new set of lenses – ones that help us see things for what they truly are. So often we aren’t having a crisis, we’re experiencing a challenge. As my therapist once said to me as I was going on and on about one of my earthly dramas, “a crisis is when you pick up the phone and call 9-1-1…Susan, watch your words”.

I hope these 3 shifts help you view challenges from a higher perspective because that’s when we can see them in their proper “light”.

Big Love,

susan

Posted in blog, My Journey, Peaceful Living & Thinking, Spiritual Solutions to Earthly Dramas, Uncategorized | 1 Comment »

Catherine Zeta-Jones And I Finally Have Something In Common

Thursday, April 14th, 2011

Perhaps by now you’ve heard the news that Catherine Zeta-Jones recently sought treatment for bipolar II condition which is a mental illness that involves both prolonged periods of depression along with short periods of manic episodes. When I watched the report on the Today Show this morning, I was inspired to share that I too have suffered from depression and anxiety. I’ve had around five bouts of high grade depression and anxiety that have brought my ability to function and enjoy my life pretty much to a grinding halt. One of the reasons I am so passionate about seeing the lighter side of life is because I have experienced the darkness – I have gone through many weeks at a time when I can’t face getting out of bed, I avoid my work, I withdraw from my friends and family, and can’t for the life of me keep breakfast down.Weirdly enough, most of my depressions took place in the spring so hey, at least I got thin for bathing suit season…ah, the good ol’ crisis diet…I’m an emotional wreck, but damn I look good.

Catherine and I are not both rich and famous…we’re not both married to a man who is rich and famous…and we’re certainly not both gorgeous,voluptuous brunettes, (the difference is that I’m blonde), but we do both have a mental illness that we’ll be managing for the rest of our lives. Catherine and I have a very sensitive chemical make-up that can go off-balance when we view and think about things in a negative/fearful way for a sustained period of time. Catherine and I will be managing our conditions for the rest of our lives – she will be doing it in some mansion tucked away in the Hollywood hills mind you, but we will both be managing mental illness nonetheless.

Actually, I bring up the fact that she is a well-off celebrity to inject this post about mental illness with a bit of comic relief, but there is a point to be made with that fact that she is indeed wealthy and famous. Here we are living very different lives, and yet, we both have been in the “jaws of the black dog” as my friend Liz so appropriately stated on Facebook the other day. No matter what the external circumstances are (in Catherine’s case, lots of fame/tons of moolah/good looks, etc.), if someone is sending a message to their brain day after day that they are in danger, stress hormones go one the rise. Our brains aren’t that swift when it comes to being trigger-happy with the stress response – it can’t tell the difference between real danger and perceived danger – or in other words, our stressful thoughts. For example, reacting to your house catching on fire versus freaking out over your manager’s never-ending lack of leadership skills sends the same messages to the brain that there is danger. When our brains sense real or perceived danger, cortisol is released into our system and the result reminds me of the the time many years ago when my father came home unexpectedly one night while I was having a wee get-together with a few friends…it really wrecks the party.

Catherine’s experience with mental illness amidst her apparent “good life” goes to prove that no matter how good someone has it in the external sense, if they are seeing things and thinking about things in a way that tells their body they’re in danger and triggers the release of cortisol day after day, there won’t be enough endorphins and calming neurotransmitters to keep them feeling BALANCED to enjoy said “good life”. It’s important for me to mention that her husband, Michael Douglas, has faced throat cancer over the past couple of years, so Catherine has probably had a perception of being in great danger for many months on end. Life’s changes and challenges sometimes just gets the best of us and fear takes its mighty hold…that’s the bumpy ride called the human experience.

As I mentioned earlier in this post, Catherine and I will be managing our own, unique versions of mental illness for the rest of our lives. Just like the risk of heart disease can be lowered by the CHOICES one makes in terms of lifestyle habits, lowering the risk of mental illness can be lowered by CHOOSING to see and think about challenges in a way that tells one’s body that despite the $#@! hitting the fan, we’re going to be okay and hence, the chemical balance remains unaltered.

Even though most of my experiences with mental illness occurred while I was in my twenties, I’m still not immune to it. In fact, I experienced both depression and anxiety (they tend to go hand in hand which is really neat) once again back this past winter. I got thin again, but recovered way too early to look any better on the beach this summer…damn winter depressions. I now see with great clarity that each time I have gotten sick, it has stemmed from what I was telling myself day after day about the certain challenges that were unfolding in my life. Yes, thank goodness medication exists and yes, I’m a huge promoter of all things wellness, but the true healer of any form/level of depression lies within our ability to BE AWAKE…to be aware of how we’re viewing and thinking about the stuff that comes our way in life.

Strong mental health can be Catherine’s, mine, and perhaps yours if you too have a sensitive chemical balance in your brain, if we consciously choose to see the lighter side of life and keep that stress response at bay for one more day.

Big Love,

susan

*my next post will offer some specific ways of seeing changes and challenges in ways that can keep one’s stress hormones at bay…these acts of mindfulness have helped me greatly…stay tuned!

Posted in blog, My Journey, Peaceful Living & Thinking, Uncategorized, Wellness | 3 Comments »

What Are Your Intentions for 2010?

Tuesday, December 22nd, 2009

As we step into 2010, I want you to keep in mind that what took place in the past year, didn’t happen TO YOU, but rather, it happened FOR YOU. Look back on the events/situations/people you encountered last year in a state of gratitude for the good, the bad and the ugly and take that higher vibrational energy into 2010 to help you attract what your heart desires!

So what are your intentions for the coming year? Intentions are merely habits that you want to incorporate into your lifestyle that will edge you closer to living YOUR definition of success. Habits are huge…what we choose to think and do on a regular basis powerfully determines whether we are going to feel the way we want  to each day…in mind, body and spirit.

Here are my main intentions for 2010…

- dive into the world of yoga (my aching knees will surely thank me…cardio and strength training are lovely but yoga makes your body WELL)

- work smarter, not harder (i work for myself and crave more boundaries and days with laser-like purpose)

- to consciously bring my focus and attention into the present moment more often…a great way to do this is to simply check if you’re breathing…bye bye mind chatter!

- take 2 days off a week (again with the challenges of working for myself and my work being at home with me!)

- to lighten up EVEN MORE about my life and work (despite the title of my business, my ego can still place fear into me and lead me to taking stuff WAY too seriously)

- to understand how this friggin’ WordPress thingy REALLY works…I’m operating on about 15% knowledge right now…good times.

- to take my vitamins on a more consistent basis…like every day rather than once and awhile…now, there’s a concept

- oh, and drink green tea most afternoons when I’m doing my work at the computer…right now I’m consuming it like once a week…why not ramp that super duper anti-oxidant magic up a few notches?

- to say “no” to gigs that don’t feel completely right to me (stopping the stuff that doesn’t rock your world opens up time and space for the stuff that makes your heart do the salsa!)

- to write more (my blog, my newsletter, my tweets, and FaceBook page are going to be a big focus for reasons that go way beyond social media marketing…)

- to stretch more (it’s so easy to skip this step at the end of a workout…my body deserves this bloody 5 extra minutes!!!)

- to go easier on myself…I STILL create too many stressful thoughts when I screw up…mistakes are not only opportunities to learn, but to cultivate self-kindness as well

- to keep an open mind and open heart…this helps me embrace new adventures and opportunities that I couldn’t dream up on my best day

- and last, but certainly not least, to put out the message to everyone that I am not part of the self-improvement movement, but part of the LOVE movement…anything I write or talk about is about returning to our TRUE selves which are LOVING BEINGS…that decision, that awakening…is when we LIVE WELL and LAUGH LOTS…..

May you be blessed with strong health and many moments of laughter in 2010 and if you are inspired to do so, please post a message and share your main intentions for the coming year!

Big Love,

susan

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