I recently walked along the shores of Lake Huron with my mother. We were on a beach just north of the little town of Kincardine where her parents owned a cottage and she enjoyed many summers throughout her youth. Like other times before, we walked to the familiar point on the beach only to find that my mom’s old family cottage was no longer there.
The ol’ disappearing act strikes again. Something or someone exiting stage left.
Ah, the flux of life.
As my mom and I walked back to the car, she was graceful as she flowed with the flux. Indeed there was sadness, but I could sense her flowing nonetheless. I saw the peacefulness that comes when one doesn’t attach to stuff always existing like old family cottages waiting for you to come look at it every few years.
No attachment to external circumstances because flux happens.
Look back on your life so far and it’s one shocking beach walk after another. The conditions of our lives in constant flux.
Ships coming in (at last!) and being lost at sea…without a paddle.
You were thin and then you weren’t and now you’re somewhere in between. Or the other way around.
You had lots of money. And then you didn’t.
Friends came. They stayed for as long as they are supposed to. Some friends left…some are still around…for now, anyway.
You were overwhelmed and scared. And then you could do it with your eyes shut. (flux can be positive too, by the way)
You owned a home. And then you were back to renting.
You had great hair and then your hair stylist moved far away and you’ve never quite gotten your lid back to looking that good.
You were in love. You were alone. You were in love again. (And so on…)
You were in charge. And then you were de-throned.
You had a booming business or career. And then you didn’t. And then you reinvented yourself.
You were hip, you were cool, you were happenin’. And then one day you found yourself watching Much Music and couldn’t identify one band or artist that was on the screen. And you feel really old at the mall now.
Oh, you want more flux? Night to Day. Winter to Summer. New Moon to Full Moon. High Tide to Low Tide. Flux is the nature of things.
With all this flux around us, it’s interesting how we think we can or should be able to avoid it. Flux just isn’t something that happens to me.
Show me a life with lovers, level of wealth, number of friends, worldly possessions, and professional endeavours that haven’t changed and I’ll show you a woman in North America who hasn’t heard of the book, “Fifty Shades Of Grey“.
And yet our suffering stems from the illusion that something or someone in our lives can or should possess staying power.
Staying power is a myth. Security is a myth. What outside of us is truly secure in this life? Tell me that one and I’ll send you a free copy of “Fifty Shades Of Grey“.
Our reaction to flux often reminds me of the reaction Canadians have at the glimpse of the first snow fall of the winter. Even though we are aware that winter is a reality about our climate, when we see those first few flakes falling to the ground, it catches us off guard each time. “Oh my God, it’s snowing! Come over here to the window, check it out!!!!” Cue the mad scramble for snow shovels, snow blowers, snow tires, and non-freezing windshield wiper fluid.
Let’s not be like Canadians and their annual tizzy about winter. Rather than asking ourselves, Will flux happen? The question to ask ourselves is, When will flux happen?
The shock of and resistance to flux is stressing us out. Let’s end the war against flux. Let’s embrace that it’s lurking out there to stir things up when it’s necessary and bring on the peace.
You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have the flux of life.
(Sorry, couldn’t help myself. Loved that theme song.)