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5 Ways To Lighten Up About Other People

Thursday, July 26th, 2012

In-laws that make you want to scream. Colleagues that make you want to leave. Friends that don’t share. Neighbours that just don’t care. Parents that don’t get it. And lovers that always sweat it.

We want them to be different. We wish they would do things the way we would. We get fired up. We get let down.

Working with, living with, and co-existing with other human beings can be one of the aspects of life that challenges our peaceful state of mind the most.

Challenging yes. But suffering is optional.

Very optional.

It depends how you choose to view all the shenanigans.

Here are 5 shifts in consciousness that can help you lighten up about other people:

1. What ever is going on, it’s perfect. Years ago all us souls agreed to put on a human suit and came down to experience all kinds of adventures and learn a whole bunch of lessons. Whether you’re deeply involved, mildly affected, or merely observing, all events and situations are unfolding as a way to edge us souls  further along in our evolution. Because everyone is here on their own little missions, what we see each other do or get mucking around trying to do stuff together are the divine dramas that gives us yet another opportunity to remember who we really are (which is joy) and reclaim that true nature in the midst of all the challenges of being a human. We show up to figure out ways to find our way home. Be that source of light we showed up as. What ever it is about that person or what ever happened that has you all in a tizzy is perfect. For them and you. How do I know this? Because it’s happening.

2. No matter what, it’s not about you. We can save ourselves a great deal of suffering by not taking things personally and see it for what it is – a sacred part of their human experience. As much as we kind of dig thinking that that everything is about us, what humans do and think, exists out of what agenda their soul agreed to before they zipped up their human suit and pursued life down here on earth. It’s never about you, but it is always about them finding their way back home.

3. People are always doing their very best. Yes, despite what we expect of the world and what we think people “should” be doing, thinking, or saying, everyone is doing their best. We are all at different points in our missions so based on the information and the experiences they have gathered thus far, this is all they’ve got. You choose the rest.

4. It’s none of your business. Aside from when people are in danger, coming to the rescue doesn’t serve anyone involved well. What other people doing, thinking, and saying is between them and the universe. If you’ve got advice and know “what’s best”, resist the urge to try and fix someone and something that is already perfect.

5. You are here to love. We’ve been conditioned to think that we’re here to do a hell of a lot more, but to find ways to be a source of light in this world is why we come down here and attempt this human experience in the first place. If we can choose to just love each other without any attachment to any of the outcomes that come from their human experience, that is compassion. Acting as if one outcome is good and another is bad is judgement.

It’s all good, baby.

Big Love,

susan

 

 

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Why Meditation Is Everything That It’s Cracked Up To Be

Tuesday, July 17th, 2012

My mind has been swirling and my soul has been restless for the past few days. Not sure why, but I seem to be reviewing the past and fretting about the future – or better yet, trying desperately to predict the future. Ah, the life and times of an amateur  fortune teller. It’s interesting that the pros only focus on the good stuff while we novices tend to like to sit there and scare the crap out of ourselves.

The swirling and restlessness will dissipate (it always does), but in the meantime, all I can do is catch myself drifting away and then bring my focus back to the present moment. It takes awareness. The same awareness that one requires to avoid flatulating in a yoga class. Can I get an Amen?

Make a shift. Be Here Now.

Stressful thoughts always (yes, always) stem from an attachment to the past or future. Think of something that’s stressing you out right now – I guarantee you that it’s something that has already happened or not yet happened. A woman who attended a workshop that I did a few weeks ago challenged me on that point and after she told me that her stressor was the current construction taking place on her street, I asked her if she was standing on her street amidst the construction right now. She smiled and gave me a thumbs up.

Make a shift. Be Here Now.

When it comes to peeling oneself off the ceiling, returning to the present moment is like jotting down a gratitude list – it’s one of those quick acts of consciousness that can return you to planet earth in an instant which is a fabulous thing when there are other earthlings who are counting on you.

This is why meditation is everything that it’s cracked up to be.

You can meditate anywhere, by the way. If you’re focusing on what’s going on right in front of you, you’re meditating. If you’re walking down the street and that’s where your attention is, you’re meditating. I find chanting and deep breath meditation agonizing and boring. If I need to sit down and write a to-do list, I go and meditate because that list will be done in seconds. I’ve tried meditation CDs – those things are great, because while I’m listening to it, I unload the dishwasher, pay my bills online, and tidy my office. I know, I know…

I like to meditate off the cuff. If I bring my attention back to the part of my life that is right in front of me, I can instantly feel the tension lift, the shoulders drop, and the ground beneath my feet. For how ever long I can stay here, I am connected back to who I really am which is not my thoughts.

Even though it’s effective as all get-out, being present/meditation can be challenging. We humans can so easily drift away in the past or the future. We’re drifters from way back. I’m sure you’ve been talking with someone and thirty seconds into the conversation you are gone – your attention and thoughts are somewhere else. As you are standing there appearing to be having a conversation, you can see their mouth moving…you can hear sounds…but, you’re wondering if you should go ahead with having that dinner party in a couple weeks or hold off until the new sofa arrives.

When you’re in the car, see if you’re in the car. I will often be driving home from somewhere and not one of my thoughts will pertain to the fact that I’m operating a heavy piece of machinery that’s in motion. I’ll pull into my driveway, park my car, sit back, and think to myself, “Now, how the hell did I get here? I hope everyone’s okay!” 

When you’re in the shower in the morning, check and see if you’re in the shower. How many times are you already at that meeting, having that conversation with, sending that email, or doing something on your to-do list? Right now, I want you to consider how many times you have showered with the people you work with. I can always tell when I’ve drifted away in the shower because I’ll suddenly come back to the present moment and realize that I have no idea if I’ve put the conditioner in my hair yet. There’s a true reality check. Some mornings I’m sure my hair get an extra dose of conditioning.

I even find it challenging to be in the present moment when I’m away on vacation. Even though I’m relaxing on the beach or shopping in a big, cosmopolitan city, I’ll start drifting away. Maybe during my next holiday I’ll send postcards that say, “Having a great time! Wish I was here!” Sigh…

It’s certainly a challenge and it does take awareness, but the gifts of meditation (on a CD or off the cuff) are varied and numerous.

It’s rather appropriate that the word, present, has more than one meaning, wouldn’t you agree?

Big Love,

susan

 

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The Opportunity Of Crisis

Thursday, July 12th, 2012

Well, the latest indicator that I’m getting “older” took place yesterday. I had a root canal. To be accurate, I endured the first part of a three-part root canal procedure. The fun is far from over.

I was experiencing intense pain in my bottom right molars while my recent holiday on Vancouver Island was wrapping up and as luck would have it, I had a dentist appointment scheduled here in Toronto two days after arriving home. Yay. I see the divine timing. The universe never ceases to amaze me. 

After taking an x-ray of my molars, my dentist called over to an endodontist in the area who could take me right away and end the pain quickly. Yay again. I feel gratitude. Such abundance, such access. Me and my first world problems. 

The endodontist who worked on my tooth had a fabulous sense of humour and made the multiple needles and drilling in my mouth quite bearable. We had quite the witty repartee going at one point and while lying in a dental chair on an angle that never seems natural, I actually laughed (out loud) a few times. I wonder how many times laughter has been heard from a room where a root canal is taking place. My guess is that with this man, many times. This man definitely subscribes to the philosophy that work can either be drudgery or fun and he chooses fun. Yay Dr. Zareh Ouzounian. I choose fun too. Might as well laugh…it releases good feeling chemicals into your bloodstream that are normally very expensive and highly illegal which really helps if you’re in pain. 

The procedure that Dr. Ouzounian performed on me yesterday was a pulpectomy which is the removal of infected pulp – the tooth’s cells and tissues. I learned from Dr. Ouzounian that any procedure ending in -tomy refers to the removal of something from the human body. I did a quick brainstorm of “tomys” and I’ll happily take a pulpectomy over a mastectomy, hysterectomy, or lobotomy. Yay pulpectomy. I gain immense perspective. Can I get an amen? 

I walked home and soaked up the mid-July sun. Ah, the heat is on. Yay summer. I feel grateful that I am not trudging through snow with this amount of freezing in my mouth…one frozen part of my body is enough. 

The client that I was supposed to talk to that day (and had to bail on due to impromptu dental surgery) couldn’t have been more understanding about it. Yay Stephanie. I feel more gratitude. Appearing to a client like a lose canon who forgets phone meetings is what they call adding insult to injury…glad to have dodged the double-whamy. 

And I called my mother twice throughout the day because well, when you’re in pain, you want your mommy. She listened. She cared. She sternly told me that if the tooth abscesses, to get my ass back to the endodontist. Cue the Jann Arden song. Yay for my good mother. (Her voice is what keeps me here.) Of course she called this morning to check in on me. Of course she did. I am loved. 

Despite the title of this post, this particular predicament wasn’t what I would classify as a crisis. Let’s reserve that word for life-threatening situations only. This was more of a challenge. With a crisis or a challenge brings all kinds of opportunity. Yesterday I was given opportunities to marvel at the universe, see the gifts, connect with a like-minded soul, and to remember my true nature (which is joy).

Blessings received. Awareness achieved. Perfection believed.

The chinese character that is used for the word, crisis, is the same one used for the word, opportunity.

They are one in the same when you are wide awake and see beyond the drama.

Everything that comes your way is an opportunity to be the real you. Lightness. Laughter. Wonder.

Find your way “home” to JOY by slowing down and seeing how this crisis or challenge is happening for you.

Yay consciousness.

Big Love,

susan

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Rather Than Change Your Behaviour, Re-Think Your Beliefs.

Thursday, June 21st, 2012

Do you have a habit that you wish you could change?

Do you act out in a way that has you perpetually asking yourself, “When I am going to finally stop doing that?”

I’ve been golfing for many years now. During my ten or so years of playing the game (and supposedly loving the game), I have experienced much frustration, anger, and heart-wrenching disappointment. How do you 4-putt after that beautiful drive????? Feeling those negative emotions, I have had the mouth of a trucker, I have stomped down fairways, and in one particular dark moment, I sent my pitching wedge flying into a pond near the 18th green – sometimes you just know when a relationship is over, don’t you?

Needless to say, I’m not as calm, relaxed, and light-hearted out on the course as I would like to be. Oh, to be in a state of grace in the moments when I look like it’s my first time trying the sport. Even though I’ve become more contained in my angst and responsible for my energy out on the course (ummmm…live well, laugh lots?), I still haven’t completely changed. To this day, I can still get down on my self, my temper can flare, and my sense of humour can exit stage right.

In light of the fact that I write and speak about relieving stress by cultivating mindfulness and seeing things from a higher perspective (that’s my safe way of saying spirituality…shhhhh…let’s keep it between us), I still struggle to keep my cool when playing golf.

What gives? What has to happen for my behaviour to really change? The answer to that question is that I need to re-think my beliefs.

Until I believe that the experience of being out on the course with friends and loved ones is more valuable than the outcome, I won’t be able to savour the gifts of the day.

Until I believe that my self-worth isn’t hinged on me shooting a low score, I won’t be able to laugh off a lousy shot.

Until I truly believe that I am not my golf game, I will be far away from my desired state of grace.

Going after the behaviour without bothering to re-think the big thoughts behind it makes it impossible to sustain any kind of positive change.

Trust me, I’ve tried.

Change your behaviour by changing what you believe.

Shop Too Much? Re-think the belief that you are what you have. (You are way more than that.)

Work Too Much? Re-think the belief that you are what you do and what you’ve accomplished. (You are way more than that too.)

Are You A Pleaser? Or Out Of Balance? Or Exhausted From Doing So Much? Re-think the beliefs you have about what the world expects of you. (You are here on this earth to shine…if what you’re doing is dimming your light, there is no NEED to be involved.)

Eat Too Much? Re-think the belief that food is love. (You are loved!)

Impatient? Always In A Hurry? Re-think the belief that the present moment is the ugly step-sister of the oh-so-sexy future. (The present moment is all you really have.)

Depressed or Anxious? Re-think the belief that your toxic thoughts are true. (Any thoughts that make you suffer are definitely a bunch of crap.)

Selfish/Self-Absorbed? Re-think the belief that this life is about you. (This life is about being of service – helping others, being a spark of light, and being a source of love. You can still have lots of fun and make lots of money  focusing on those things, by the way…more fun and more money are actually hinged on you believing this.)

Always Striving For Perfection? Re-think your belief that your ego-driven idea of perfect even exists and re-think your belief that things should be a certain way. (The way things are and turn out is perfect because it takes you to the next step in your journey. As Danielle LaPorte would say, “Everything Is Progress.”)

Tight With Your Money, Time or Energy? Re-think the belief that the more you squander or hoard the more you will have. (Be the source of what you want in your life. Generosity of any kind is the most powerful way to attract more of that into your life because it sends a big ol’ message to the universe that there’s lots more where that came from!)

And so on.

Thoughts turn into behaviours that turn into habits. Break habits and break patterns by breaking through to a new way of thinking.

If my self-worth isn’t dependent on my ability to golf, then why would I get upset? Why would I not laugh and have fun no matter what? There’s the connection!

Look at any behaviour or habit that isn’t working for you and challenge the thoughts that lead you down the garden path…or the pitching wedge into the pond. (Ahem.)

Big Love,

susan

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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The Difference Between Pain And Suffering

Thursday, May 17th, 2012

Yes, there is a big difference between pain and suffering. They seem to be two words that describe the same experience, but I beg to well, differ.

I have a friend who has a mother who is extremely fractured. This woman has forgotten who she really is (I wrote another post about that very concept) and grown-up expectations, fears, judgements have led her far away from “home”. With that said, my friend’s mother doesn’t have anything to do with his brother, his brother’s wife, and their two beautiful little boys. I’m not exactly sure what happened in the past (that’s how big and nasty the incident was), but this guy’s mother decided to cut off all contact and hasn’t seen her one son (and his family) in many years.

Ain’t “love” grand?

My friend and his brother (and the rest of the family, most likely) feel pain because of this great divide within their family.

When life hands you challenges like my friend’s family situation, you have a shot at peace, empowerment, and light when you remember one important thing…

Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.

Pain is both physical and emotional. When we humans get hurt, we feel pain. Life has many inevitable challenges that are painful. Giving birth. Broken Limbs. Headaches. Heartaches. Sorrow.

Suffering on the other hand, is our gig. We choose if and when we suffer.

My friend and his family don’t necessarily have to add suffering on top of their pain.

When we wish life’s challenges were different or gone altogether, we amplify our pain.

When we expect someone or something to be different, we amplify our pain.

When we make the challenges into something more dramatic than it truly is, we amplify our pain.

When we place judgement on ourselves or other people, we amplify our pain.

When we take things personally (rather than remember all things are connected to the journey/evolution of the other person), we amplify our pain.

Suffering is pain multiplied by resistance. 

When pain comes along in life, and it will. Hold it close. Hear it’s whispers. Hear it’s lessons. Hear it’s call for you to accept what is so the pain doesn’t get any worse.

Be present.

See it only for what it is.

Choose compassion.

Remember that often you are witnessing the adventures of someone else’s human experience…it’s not really about you at all, darlin’.

Yes, pain is a part of life. Your physical and emotional being will indeed get a bit beat up now and again, but your soul is always quite content with the hijinks…it’s been well-planed, well-timed, and comes with great purpose, after all. Even when a mother loses her way and is far away from “home”.

Big Love,

susan

 

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The 3 A’s That Can Change Everything (And Make You A Yoga Master)

Wednesday, May 9th, 2012

I was in yoga class recently and that day the teacher started off by stating the focus of our practice. She said three words: Attention, Acceptance, Appreciation.

It might appear that the main objectives of yoga are mastering each pose, achieving perfect balance, demonstrating Incredible Hulk-like strength, and rocking out olympian-style endurance, however, the point of yoga has very little to do with WHAT YOU DO, but rather, WHO YOU ARE. Are you focused on the present moment? Are you choosing to embrace and enjoy the effort? Are you being easy on yourself?

Maintaining a peaceful mindset throughout the challenges of the practice is the point of yoga.

And I believe, the point of life.

How does one manage to be peaceful in the face of challenges? Attention. Acceptance. Appreciation.

Attention. Bring your attention to the present moment. This requires major awareness as we humans tend to review the past and fret about the unknown future. Catch yourself in the act and choose to BE HERE NOW. Beyond being in the moment, attention is about paying close attention to how you view and think about the events, situations, and people that enter your life. It is our perceptions and thoughts that create our experiences. See if you can catch yourself in the act when attaching to expectations (how things/people SHOULD be), making the past into a dramatic story that could be turned into a made-for-TV-movie, making grand predictions of the future (and it ain’t pretty y’all!), judging yourself or others, and any other mind-chatter that gets in the way of shining your bright light.

Get all up in your business constantly. Question everything you think or say. Make sure it’s kind, loving, or at the very least, TRUE.

Acceptance. How much of your suffering comes from arguing with reality? Accepting everything is much, much easier said than done, right? So you may need a bit more than noble intentions. Accepting things and people for precisely what they are stems from your BELIEFS. What do you believe about this human experience? Do you believe  that we are spiritual beings down here on earth with the sole purpose of evolving? Do you believe that all events, situations, and people come with great purpose to edge you along in your evolution? Do you believe that everything and everyone that comes your way is just one more opportunity from the universe to be kind and to shine that bright light of yours?

Answers to those questions often determines one’s ability to accept (and be peaceful) when big changes happen at work, a relationship comes to an end, or when the cursor on your computer screen simply refuses to move no matter how much play with your mouse. Ommmmmmmmmm…shanti.

Appreciation. Even I cringe a bit on stage when I say to my audiences, “choose an attitude of gratitude“. Did you or did you not just gag a little when you read that phrase? But choose an attitude of gratitude, damn it. Love to hate it but do it. Why? Because suffering cannot exist where there is gratitude. Take stock of what you got, baby. Nothing brings one down quite like a mental review of what’s missing, what’s wrong, and how many things suck. It’s amazing how spirits lift and vibrations rise when you choose to focus on how good you’ve got it, how much you do have, and how many things truly are going well. Now, the most powerful gratitude list includes the stuff that challenged you the most…caused you pain, made you crazy, and took you to the proverbial edge because I BELIEVE  those experiences are the ones that have awakened you the most.

Because every thought has a chemical equivalent, these 3 A’s can change your health.

Because your mindset directly influences your performance and success (and not the other way around), these 3 A’s can change the work that you do.

Because your true nature is JOY, these 3 A’s can help you remember and reclaim it. Rock it out no matter what.

Because yoga is all about WHO YOU ARE in the face of challenges, these 3 A’s will make you a master no matter how many times you fall over.

Namaste,

susan

 

 

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How Consciousness Can (and most likely will) Solve The Other Energy Crisis

Thursday, May 3rd, 2012

Maybe once or twice you’ve uttered the phrase, “I just don’t have the energy I used to.”

Recently someone said to me, “The energy I had when I was young is long gone now.” The poor thing sounded like her energy was the other thing that thug took when he snagged her purse.

We talk about our energy like it inevitably dwindles with age much like our cares about what other people think.

Aging is inevitable, but there’s nothing inevitable about your rate of aging…or your energy levels.

You’re very much in charge.

You create your experience.

You want more energy? Wake up. Pay attention to your thoughts. Live and work with a higher level of consciousness.

Stressful mind-chatter eats up your energy like it just got outta jail.

Need more proof in that pudding? Cut to that night (or those nights) that you lied in bed with your eyes wide open…’cause you were stressing about something and that mind-chatter was keeping you up until dawn like a brand new lover. But you’re not that good kinda tired. Sigh…

Change your mindset, change your energy levels.

There’s proof of that too. Think about the times in your life when you were one rocking’ ball of energy. What were you up to? Yes, you were away on a holiday…you were on vacation! Oh yeah, baby…you felt like you were twenty-five again, didn’t you? There you were, walking miles and miles of a sandy beach each morning for a week! There you were, marching up and down the streets of a major cosmopolitan city shopping for eight to ten hours straight! “No, we can’t stop for lunch! Let’s keep going!” Oh there you were, trudging up and down the cobblestone lanes of those little European towns like a champion!

And then you got back to work. You could hardly muster up the chutzpa to go to the bathroom. As you were gathering the strength to stand up from your chair, it suddenly became too much and you decided to hold it and go at lunch because you were headed in that direction then anyway.

Oh, how the mighty had fallen.

It’s frustrating to not have the energy you want for work…hell, for life! I don’t know about you, but I find it very frustrating when I make it to the end of the week…it’s Friday night…and there I am at home asleep on the couch by nine o’clock. That’s sexy.

Thankfully we can access more energy by quieting our minds, focusing on the present moment, and choosing more peaceful thoughts that aren’t nearly as hungry as the stressful kind.

Change your mindset, change your energy levels.

Consciousness can help you party on a Friday night like rock star. Just be aware of how you are seeing the world and thinking about the world.

Choose thoughts that help you RISE and SHINE.

Maybe you DO have the energy you used to. Maybe it’s all in your head.

Big love,

susan

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What It Means To Be The REAL YOU (My Latest A-HA Moment…)

Wednesday, March 28th, 2012

For years now my mother has talked about me getting to a place where I am the real SUSAN.  And for years, I have never had a clear understanding of what the hell she’s been talking about. Did I ask for clarification? Nah…just nodded and smiled…as you do. Maybe I didn’t care enough about it or maybe for some other reason, but apparently, the timing wasn’t right for me to get it.

One recent Sunday morning I listened to a recorded talk by one of my favourite authors, Neale Donald Walsch. Throughout his messages about ending the struggle and making your life work, Neale got talking about the very subject of being who we really are. And…

A-HA! I get it now! (Sorry, mom…Lord knows you tried…)

I now understand what being the real you is all about…what it means…what it looks like as a habit…as a daily experience.

Being the real you means that no matter what is going on around you, you are remembering and exuding your TRUE NATURE. You know, that light-filled spirit you embodied when you entered this world. Your true nature…the real you is that bundle of love who didn’t judge, who didn’t expect things, and who didn’t stress about a damn thing. That’s who I really am and that’s who you really are! We are not our thoughts. We are not our worries. We are not our stories about the past and the future. We are not what we do, what we have, or what we have accomplished. All of that mind-chatter and ego thinking is just stuff that leads us away from “home”.

This is your true nature.

Anytime you don’t look and act like this photo of my baby nephew, Lucas, the “dream”…the illusions of this made-up world and the expectations and stressful thoughts that it triggers, has led you astray from who you really are.

One of the typical symptoms of chronic stress shared by participants in my workshops is “being a bitch” to other people. That’s it exactly! Who observes a baby doing anything and thinks, “What a bitch!”

Think of all the dramatic stories, limiting beliefs, and stressful thoughts in your mind as the many layers that cover up your true peaceful, playful, excitable nature. Deciding to remember and exude that true nature of yours is a powerful act of awareness. Being who you really are is a conscious decision to peel away those layers…it’s waking up and heading “home”.

So, no matter what the drama, disappointment, or stressful situation, can you remember who you really are? Can you look like your baby photo more often rather than say, a passport photo? Can you approach each moment with that same wide open heart and stillness in your mind that you had so long ago?

Sounds challenging? You bet it is. It might be one heck of a rise in awareness for the first little while, (it has been for me!), but hold steady and strong, my fellow spiritual warrior. If we stay at it long enough we just might make it “home”…being who we really are just might become “second nature.”

Big Love,

susan

 

Posted in Challenging The Old Ways, My Journey, Peaceful Living & Thinking, Seeing The Lighter Side Of LIfe, Spiritual Solutions to Earthly Dramas, Uncategorized | No Comments »

Is Productivity A Virtue?

Wednesday, February 1st, 2012

Do you believe you are what you do? Is your self-worth hinged on whether you accomplish your to-do list?

As our ego is our self-identity based on external things such as possessions and achievements, it often leads us to believe that we are what we do. And out of that main belief comes thoughts like “I should be busy….all the time.” “If the house is clean, the errands are done, and the emails have been sent, then I’m a good person worthy of love.”

Have you ever uttered such thoughts or ones like that in your head? Lord knows I have.

There’s a popular bumper-sticker that says, “Jesus is coming, look busy!” The number one rule in comedy is that it’s funny because it’s true. The truth is, if word got out that son of God was dropping by, I think most people would heads down it and throw in a few grunts for extra measure.

Admittedly, in the past, I have chosen to do laundry over going out to see a movie with friends, so I can avoid hearing my ego whisper with disdain, “There you go being lazy again – good people get jobs done first and only relax if there’s time left over.” Oh yes, there have been many times that I chose to do something productive over spending time relaxing, rejuvenating, or playing so I didn’t have to spend my entire day obsessing about what I should have be doing. Have you ever suffered from a bad case of the shoulds? You finally make time to relax or have fun and then you spend the whole time feeling bad – there you are trying to JUST BE and shoulding yourself. God bless us – we try desperately to enjoy yourselves but so often we just end up in a state of self-loathing because our almighty to-do list isn’t going to-do itself.

As the CEO of Yahoo, Carol Bartz, once said at Maria Shriver’s annual women’s conference, “Let’s be very clear – the issue isn’t about balance, it’s guilt.” Can I get an Amen?

Here are some secret thoughts that you may or may not have had that indicate a belief that be busy makes you a good person…

“If I’m not busy, others will think I’m lazy.” (most of the time people are too busy and too busy thinking about themselves to really care what you’re up to)

“The busier I am, the cooler I am.” (do you ever get the feeling that some people are just showing off?)

“I don’t know how not to be busy.” (and you’re too busy to figure it out)

“Hey, everybody else is busy.” (it’s like the peer pressure to wear Ralph Lauren button-downs, Bass penny loafers, and acid wash jeans all over again…sigh…)

If you are busy due to thinking it’s some kind of virtuous act and makes you a better person,  please consider that being busy is nothing more than being busy. Being busy doesn’t create self-worth, however, it can create fatigue that can compromise the quality of your life. Please consider that times of stillness, laughter, and play are actually essential if you want to be truly productive and achieve quality in your work.

Think of your energy much like a bank account. Being productive and being busy are the withdrawals. Rest and play are the deposits. Have you ever experienced  over-draft???

You may have had the fleeting or not-so-fleeting thought that being busy equals success. Well, if being busy leads you to lying spread-eagle on the floor gasping for air, can you really call that success? I mean, come on, isn’t it a real bummer when you finally make it to the end of a busy week – it’s Friday night – and there you are at home fast asleep on the couch by nine o’clock? Yeah, that’s sexy.

Do you want to have more rest, relaxation and fun in your life? It’s not really about better time management and making charts, it’s about having the courage to turn your back on a voice that has made you believe that productivity is virtuous like being honest and being generous.

It’s about creating a loving, supportive voice within yourself that allows you joy.

You won’t be as busy if you silence that chatter in your head that has made you believe that relaxing and having fun is right up there with lying and telling those kids with those UNICEF boxes at Hallowe’en to buzz off because you’re keeping our pennies for yourself, damn it.

Big Love,

susan

 

Posted in blog, Challenging The Old Ways, Humour & Play, Uncategorized, Wellness | 1 Comment »

5 Ways To “Practice Yoga” Where Ever You Are

Tuesday, January 17th, 2012

One of my main intentions for the new year was to start practicing yoga again on a regular basis. So far so very good. I have attended a yoga class almost every day since January 1st.

I feel so damn good.

I got a bit chunky in the fall. I started not to really care about calories. I started drinking less water and more beer. I skipped lunch which never means less food is consumed by the end of the day – trust me, it doesn’t.

In just over 2 weeks of regular yoga classes, my body is leaner, stronger and more flexible.

My pants aren’t tight anymore and my sweaters look better on me. You know that “thin” feeling that it is usually only enjoyed during the week after your period? Gentlemen, even YOU know what I’m talking about. Yeah, that feeling…but better!

I’m highly, highly recommending yoga as a way to create a healthier body and a smaller waist size. I’ve only tried hot yoga once (and nearly passed out from heat exhaustion), but if you’ve got the body type that can handle it, my goodness go for it – I heard you can burn like 1300 calories in one session. Yay.

As I strive to achieving Madonna-arms once and for all, I also listen to the messages my yoga teachers share throughout each practice and man, are they ever life lessons. The messages are fundamentals of the “yoga way” or philosophy behind the physical poses, but man, I will say it again, are they ever life lessons…

Here are 5 Ways To “Practice Yoga” Where Ever You Are…in or out of the studio…

1. Show Effortlessness In Your Effort. So often when I’m trying like hell to keep my balance or stay in a lunge even though my quad muscles are about to sound a 5-alarm bell, the yoga teachers will ask, “Can you soften your eyes and mouth? Can you smile?” They actually want us to look like we’re enjoying ourselves!! What the??? The lesson is that the pose IS challenging – it IS what it IS. The challenging aspect to the post is a FACT that is not going to change but stuff like our reactions to it and behaviours through it are the variables. We don’t actually HAVE TO look angry, frustrated, or in pain. When there is great effort, looking like you’re in pain or like heading off to war is always optional – there is always another way even though we forget there is. Weirdly enough, when I show (or fake) effortlessness by softening my face or smiling, the pose I’m doing becomes just a touch easier. Hmmmm….

2. Find Your Breath. The point of yoga is to inhale and exhale through the poses which requires a massive focus on the present moment throughout the practice. It’s amazing how many times my mind wanders to the past and future throughout a class and hence, how many times I’m not really there in the studio – as I’m doing Warrior 1, I’m actually emailing a client. Each time I find my breath, I come back to the present moment and re-enter the yoga studio. The lesson is it really is TOUGH to be in 2 places at once.

3. Take As Many Breaks As You Need To. During one of my classes last week, the yoga teacher said, “I’m confused when people tell me that my classes are too hard because you can always take a break when you need to.” Yoga is a practice that urges us to resist the demands of the ego and instead be kinder to ourselves. You are not your strength. You are not your balance. You are not your endurance. You are not your yoga pose. The lesson here is that self-worth or identity isn’t based on anything you DO. You are not LESS of a person if and when you rest. Big life lesson, yes?

4. Reflect On How You Feel Rather Than How You Did. Kind of an extension of the last message. The lesson here is to base the quality of your practice on whether you gained any high energy feelings or simply enjoyed yourself rather than whether whether you are ready for the yoga olympics. Did you have fun? Did you feel peaceful? Did you feel present? This lesson here is to challenge the old belief about what success means. May success mean more to you than what or how you DO or DID.

5. Namaste. The definition of Namaste (pronounced na, ma, stay) is both a physical gesture and a spoken spiritual salutation. We do and say “Namaste” at the end of every practice. We are saying to the teacher and the teacher is saying to us, “The Divine in me recognizes and honours the Divine in you.” The lesson is to approach everyone with compassion and love rather than judgement and fear. Perhaps the ultimate life lesson, yes?

Namaste, my dear…

susan

 

Posted in blog, Peaceful Living & Thinking, Seeing The Lighter Side Of LIfe, Uncategorized, Wellness | No Comments »

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