I am now in my 40’s. I’m still shocked. I just figured turning 40 would take longer. Anyway, when you reach the “middle ages”, a wonderful thing happens – you decide to stop caring about stuff that is out of your control and completely made up. Well, a real liberating fact to be aware of is that everything is made up, but it’s particularly uplifting when you realize that all of society’s rules (the “thou shalls and thou shall-nots”) are like any other rule – totally made up which gives you permission to make up something completely different.
At some point, you reach an age where you can’t possibly, even if you tried, care less about some matters. You’re done with worrying about what others think, adhering to rules prescribed by people you haven’t even bloody met, and you realize who you want in your inner circle and who you want banished from the kingdom forever. It’s not that you necessarily become a cantankerous bitch in your older years, but t’s just that you’ve lived long enough and learned enough to stop giving certain things your time and energy.
In other words, you simply choose to be happy rather than trying to be cool, popular, or important.
Are you at that point in your life? Have you been fortunate enough to have reached the ultimate status of not caring anymore about the stuff that simply isn’t worth the worry? If so, then you’ll know these ten things to stop caring about…
1. Stop Caring About Other People’s Opinions. Other people’s opinions (which are actually really just judgements), are nothing to worry about because it has nothing to do with you – those judgements are people expressing a truth about them (not you) and that truth is usually a fractured part of their thinking that has yet to be healed. By the way, you’re being judged by someone who is far from having their own sh*t together. Another truth.
2. Stop Caring About Fashion Rules. No white before Victoria Day (or Memorial Day in the U.S.) or after Labor Day? Screw that. No horizontal stripes unless you’re a size 0? Screw that too. No bikini or mini-skirt after 30? Who says and what gives them the right to tell you what and when to wear it?!? You are not here to please people – you are here to be completely yourself. Sing your own song, damn it. Seriously. Do whatever you want because you can. Screw it all.
3. Stop Caring About Your Ex. You broke up for a reason and that reason is probably somewhere between him or her being terrible and him or her not having nothing in common with you. Nobody failed. Some relationships have an expiry date and by that I mean you did and learned all you could together. It was time to move on – nothing more dramatic than that. That break up only means what you decide it means. You can also believe that it doesn’t mean a damn thing and that it just simply happened. A great option to consider.
4. Stop Caring About Offending Someone. A great deal of happiness and peace is a byproduct of having boundaries and letting people know that what they did or said isn’t cool by you. If someone says or does something that disrespects you in any way, speak up and stand up for yourself. Don’t let fear of offending someone stand in the way of you living authentically. If someone is offended by you standing in your power, that response is a reflection of where they are in their journey. Don’t take what people say or do personally – they are just expressing their level of consciousness.
5. Stop Caring About Ending Toxic Relationships. Some people, even if they’re not aware of it, are toxic energies in our lives. I ended a 20 year friendship and even though I miss my friend, I have never regretted my decision. Trust me, it won’t be a loss – it will be a gain by you having more time for the people who match your vibe and lift you up. Love is supposed to feel good.
7. Stop Caring About Your Mistakes. First of all, to be imperfect is to be human. What did you expect? To nail it every time? Nah, your humanity makes that expectation completely unreasonable. Second of all, your mistakes do not define you – they are merely pieces in your life that have made you who you are. That is all. Mistakes do not hold you back, do not open doors for judgement, or ruin your life. Mistakes are necessary obstacles and setbacks that help your learn stuff you could have never learned any other way. Here’s another opportunity to decide that something doesn’t mean anything – again, always a great option.
8. Stop Caring About Fitting In. This point connects back to not caring about following fashion rules. I’ll say it again – you are here to sing your own song. The highest purpose of your life is to do exactly what makes you come alive and in doing that, being a bright light in this world – that is why you’re here in the first place and remembering that is what matters most in life. Follow you heart, not other people.
9. Stop Caring About Having A “Perfect” Body. Remember that everything (including rules) are all made up? The definition of a “perfect” body can’t be true or real because that rule has actually changed over time. In the 14th century, the bigger and curvier you were the better because a full figure indicated you could afford food. It was the skinny bitches who didn’t have 2 dimes to put together. And now, thanks to the influence of Hollywood and the media, the thinner you are, the more glamorous you are. However, thanks to Jennifer Lopez and Beyoncé, big booties are acceptable – for now. Whatever you have, own it and rock it out. And may the favourite thing about your body be that it serves you every day despite how you treat it on some weekends.
10. Stop Caring About Caring About Stuff. In life, you need to choose your battles. You need to decide what deserves your attention and energy and what doesn’t. When you care about something, give it your all and when you don’t care, do that big as well – say no and don’t give it another thought. You may feel guilty about not caring about some things, but saying “no” to stuff gives you the space and time to say “yes” to the things that get you excited. Don’t half-ass anything – especially your caring and not caring about things.