Do you ever find yourself deciding what an experience is going to be like or what someone is going to say or do before the situation unfolds?

A few days ago, I was jogging here in Toronto and as I was approaching a gaggle of teenage boys who were walking ahead of me, I braced myself for the comments – you know, the teenage boys- seeing-a-female-jogger-going-by-them-in-rather-form-fitting-clothing kind of comments. As I made my way past the group of young dudes, I heard one of them yell out at the top of his lungs, “I believe in you!” I smiled and raised up both of arms ala marathoner crossing the finish line which then caused an eruption of cheers from all of them. That was that. I jogged on leaving them behind and that was that. A positive experience from jogging past a group of teenage boys when that situation could have gone several different ways.

Wonders never cease, do they?

We seem to forget that wonders do never cease, though. I sure did as I was preparing myself for some sarcastic or derogatory remarks to come out of those boys mouths. I decided or predicted a negative experience before it happened.

Anytime we unleash what I like to call our “inner fortune teller” and make a prediction of how things are gonna go down in the future, that is a classic case of limited thinking.

And it’s everywhere. Observe your thoughts. How often do you decide what’s going to happen or how it’s going to be like before you actually experience it? How often do you tell yourself and other people stories that simply aren’t true because they haven’t happened yet? Listen to your colleagues, listen to your friends, lovers, neighbours, and whomever else you’re hanging around – we so often are a bunch of clairvoyants walking around predicting the future which prepares us for ONE outcome rather than the countless options available – and by the way, some of those other options kick that one predicted outcome’s ass.

During this year, my partner and I traveled to Europe and bought a loft all in a span of a few months. A comment that I’ve heard (and admittedly has been created in my mind a few times) is “well, now that we’re home-owners, we won’t be traveling again for awhile.” Deciding that because we now have a mortgage and condo fees to pay each month, the biggest trip we’re going to take over the next few years is a cross-boarder shopping trip to Buffalo is a classic case of limited thinking. It’s a decision (or future prediction) that we won’t have enough money to be able to visit places slightly more exotic than New York state. Now, that MAY be the case, but hey, it MAY NOT be the case.

Because we don’t know, everything is possible.

Because you don’t know what’s gonna go down with the events, situations, and people in your personal and professional life, everything is possible.

Challenge the stories you have created about the people you work with, hang out with and live with. Challenge the stories you are creating about how things are going to be. Is it true or is it limited thinking?

Approach each situation and each person without the story, but rather an open mind to all the possibilities. That colleague who hasn’t come up with a half-decent idea since Clinton was president, just might rock your world with a solution in the meeting tomorrow. That friend who is typically self-absorbed just might make it all about you tonight at dinner. One of those teenage boys who you jog past might just say something incredibly positive like, “I believe in you!”

Wonders never cease, do they? So maybe your limited thinking could.

Big Love,

susan