“As any good Buddhist will tell you, the only way to find permanent joy is by embracing the fact that nothing is permanent.”

– Martha Beck

We push away change as often as Kanye West pushes away members of the paparazzi. The fact that we resist change is actually the reason why we get so stressed when it comes along. As I have learned the hard way through much experience, anytime there is stress, someone is arguing with their reality. Go ahead and put that to the test. Think of something that you’re stressing about right now and I guarantee you that it is because you are resisting something. I guarantee that you want someone to be different than they are or you want something to be different than it is. All stress is created by saying “no” to your current life experience in some way.

Now we may not want to admit to this truth, but we have a hard time accepting change because we expect things to last. With our expectation that things will last, we view change as something that comes along and disrupts the flow of life.

Our expectation that things will last sets us up for a constant struggle with change because here in the physical world, impermanence is the rule. Nothing stays static. No living thing, no organization, no circumstance, and no relationship stays the same.

And yet, despite all the impermanence around us, we expect to one day get the ground under our feet. Isn’t it adorable how we expect things to finally calm down one day? Bless our hearts for expecting things to quiet down so that we’ll get everything sorted out once and for all. Here we are trying to gain this sense of comfort from having everything in place when the reality is, things come together and they fall apart. Things come together again and they fall apart again. Things come together again and they fall apart again. And repeat. We strive to feel settled in a world where nothing really ever gets solved. Everything and everyone is a work in progress. The truth is that everything and everyone is continuously evolving—our journey is a never-ending one. For example, right now it’s 2014 and they are still improving the toothbrush.

Look around and you can see evidence of impermanence everywhere. The passage of time, the earth’s rotation around the sun, the phases of the moon, and the ocean’s currents are all examples of “flux” – the constant shifting, moving, and evolving that we see unfolding all around us.

Anything that is not changing is not living. The “flux” that occurs in your life is an indication that you’re still breathing.

With all this change around us, it’s rather fascinating that we’re so shocked when it happens in our lives. Our reaction to change reminds me of the reaction we, Canadians, have to winter. Even though we know that winter is an inevitable aspect of our climate, when the first snowfall of the season arrives, we stand at our windows in amazement. “Oh my God, it’s snowing! Come over here! You gotta see this!” Cue the mad, last minute scramble for snow shovels, snow blowers, snow tires, and non-freezing windshield washer fluid. And somehow we forget how to drive in the snow, even though it comes every year.

Rather than asking, “Will change happen?”, ask, “When will change happen?”

Yes, change is also a gift. If it weren’t for “flux”, we would still be churning our own butter. We can thank “flux” for all the advancements that have ever taken place in modern civilization. And thanks to the “flux” in your life, you have advanced in your journey. You know who you know, you know what you know, and you can do what you do all because of “flux”.

Seeing change as an expression of this physical law of “flux” (kind of like gravity) is where acceptance can begin because it is our expectation that things will remain the same that creates resistance.

To help you get comfy with idea that everything must change (and so it will), notice that it’s always been like that and that you’re already kind of a pro at riding the wave…

Your ship came in (at last!) and then you were lost at sea…without a paddle.

You were thin and then you weren’t…or the other way around. (You own a few sizes of pants too, hey?)

You had lots of money. And then you didn’t. And then you had lots of money again. (Repeat.)

You saw things as black and white and now you’re all about the shades of grey.

You were BFFs…for a while.

You were overwhelmed and scared. And now you can do it with your eyes shut. (“flux” can be quite liberating too!)

You rented for what seemed like an eternity and then the day came when you finally got a piece of the pie. Now you rent again.

You had great hair and then your hair stylist moved far away and you’ve never quite gotten your lid back to looking that good.

You were in love. And then you were alone. And now you’re in love again. For now…

You were large and in charge. And then you were de-throned.

You had a booming business or career. And then you didn’t. And then you reinvented yourself. And now it’s the slow, steady build back up.

You were hip, you were cool, you were happening. And then one day you found yourself watching The Grammy Awards and you could barely identify any band or artist that appeared on the screen.

And now you feel really old at the mall. You have no business going into stores like “Forever 21” and you yearn for a store called, “Forever 39” where you can buy wine and yoga pants all in the same place.

Rather than seeing change as something disrupting the flow of life, see that it is the flow of life. You are experiencing the “flux of life” because you are part of this physical world that is constantly shifting, moving, and evolving. You’re riding the wave, baby, which means you are alive! Anything that is living is changing. Next time you wish things would stay the same, consider the alternative. Ahem.

The next time change occurs in your life, imagine how good it will feel to embrace it with open arms. Imagine how good it will feel when you stare down change and simply say, “Ah flux”.