Before I go on stage to speak at an event, I always pace. I walk back and forth through a hallway or wander the foyer mumbling my lines and breathing deeply. Inevitably, at least one person will stop and ask me if I still get nervous. My answer has always been the same. “Yes. And it’s a good thing because it means I care.”

It’s never been a conscious decision, but rather than being scared of sucking and messing up, I have always spent those “pre-show” minutes focused on what I care deeply about. I want to fulfill my potential, entertain and inspire the audience, and of course, make my client look like a rockstar.

To be stressed means there is passion. Can you focus on that passion rather than feed the fear?

When your breath becomes shallow, your palms get sweaty, and your heart starts thumping, being scared of outcomes that haven’t even taken place is always an option, or you can turn and notice that there is something positive at stake.

Connecting to the “care-factor” is a practice that has emerged from the very new area of study of “re-thinking stress”. It is now being proven that if you positively interpret the stress response, you reduce it’s longevity and lessen its negative effects.

Whether it’s a short burst of stress or it’s the kind that lingers for a few days, weeks, or months, wanting to fight or flee from it makes it worse. Rather than arguing with your stress, remember that it’s a symptom of being passionate.

Love and fear may be two opposing states of mind, but thing is, one can trigger the other. Often when you love something or someone, all that love can allow fear of loss to rise up and take over. Aversion (fear of loss) can often be the aftermath of love.

We always fear what isn’t – what has yet to transpire.

The trick is to go back to what is real – the love. Yes, fear has creeped in, but release it by turning your full attention to that something or someone that means so much to you.

Stress cannot exist where there is love. Find the meaning behind your struggle.

Stressed out about work? Connect back to the meaning behind your stress. What’s got you all excited? What’s  the positive thing at stake?

That job interview could be wrapped up in fear of blowing it or you can focus on what this means to you – blowing it right out of the water and advancing your career.

That project could be wrapped up in fear of the task surpassing your capabilities or you can focus on what this means to you – the potential for making a difference in the way you do business and hey, maybe a big ol’ promotion.

That presentation could be wrapped up in fear of making a fool of yourself or you can focus on what this means to you – a chance to impart important information and of course, let your light shine.

Go back to the love. Find the meaning. Re-think your stress.

Stressed about your kid’s sub-par grades? Rather than fearing his or her failure, go back to the fact that you love them so much and that means you want the best for them.

Stressed about your aging mother recently breaking her hip? Rather than fearing her inability to heal or fully recover, go back to the fact that you love her so much and that means you want her to be well and safe.

Stressed about the renovations at home taking way longer and costing way more than you expected? Rather than fearing that your house will be under construction forever and eating cat food for dinner, go back to the fact that you love the changes you are making for your abode.

When stress sets in (and it inevitably will no matter how much of spiritual warrior you are), you can make sure it stays by fearing what isn’t or you can connect to what is real and true – the love you feel beneath all the fretting.

Whether you are the one doing the pacing and deep breathing or it’s someone around you, find ease with it all by remembering that behind every stressed out person there is a person who cares deeply about something or someone.